Those Were The Days? – “Mickey’s Lament”

 “Living with Regret and Overcoming it Biblically”

 By Richard Allen – July 1, 2024

While I haven’t been able to locate the video online, I do remember one of my “boyhood heroes,” Mickey Mantle, on The Johnny Carson Show sometime in the 1970’s. And what has stuck in my memory for almost 50 years, was Mickey talking about a song from the late 1960’s by vocalist Mary Hopkins, entitled: “Those Were the Days.” The song has a very European sound, complete with horns playing, what I can only call “Oompa” music. Still, the song has a haunting melody and refrain. But what made Mickey’s comments so powerful, was the Regret that was apparent on his face as he sadly looked back over his storied career and his own days of glory that were in the past. In another interview from March 1994 that I found, Mickey openly confessed to Bob Costas that he drank too much, and was not home to be the father he should have been. Add to that the normal process of aging, and Mickey’s inability to physically perform as he had in his younger days, and you can understand why “Those Were the Days” made such a profound impact on him.  Here are the lyrics to the refrain that brought tears to Mickey’s eyes:

“Those were the days, my friend. We thought they'd never end. We'd sing and dance forever and a day. We'd live the life we choose. We'd fight and never lose. For we were young and sure to have our way.”

The song lyrics progress verse by verse, starting with fond memories in verse one in which “We dreamed of all the great things we would do?” Then, the lyrics declined into a lament in verse two as, “We lost our starry notions on the way,” and finally the Regret in the last verse: “Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser, for in our hearts, the dreams are still the same.”  Some might just say, “well that’s life, too soon old and too late smart.” That is certainly true on a human level. Life seems to be some cruel joke that is played on us all.  Old age, unfulfilled dreams and disappointment, are the only constants in life. In some ways, the Book of Ecclesiastes has a very similar lament as Solomon repeats another sad refrain:

Meaningless! Meaningless! says the Teacher. Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2).  

Just because we are believers doesn’t make us immune from the Sorrows and Regrets life provides. But the questions we still need to ask are: How do we as forgiven and restored believers in Jesus Christ deal with Regret?  By repentance we acknowledge our sins and failures so we can turn from them. So, doesn’t the Spirit bring us to the point where we receive forgiveness for the past and no longer dwell or obsess on our failures, allowing the Spirit to produce faithful obedience and fruitful lives? The answer is a resounding Yes!

How then do we differentiate between the “Godly Sorrow and Regret” that is a part of Biblical Repentance, and worldly Sorrow and Regret? Godly Sorrow and Regret are spiritually healthy, as in the case of the Apostle Peter. He had lied in denying Christ, and yet went out and wept sorrowfully for what he did (Luke 22:62). Peter was eventually restored to favor, and received forgiveness for his sin. But there is also a “worldly Regret” that laments the loss of our fun, health, pleasure or reputation – and sometimes Sorrow for getting caught! This type of Regret produces Sorrow for all the wrong reasons, and sometimes can end in suicide. Look at Ernest Hemmingway, the prolific writer and world traveler – who lived with Regret and depression from the meaninglessness of his prolific life experiences, past injuries and lost loves. At the end of his life, severely depressed – he attempted suicide several times until he succeeded.  All the “wine, women and song" of his younger days gave him no solace, so he committed suicide with a shotgun. That type of Regret and Sorrow is a lot like the Regret of Judas Iscariot, who after being with Jesus for 3 ½ years, did not grasp who Jesus was – but still Regretted the guilt caused by his betrayal (Matthew 27:4). Judas Regretted being exposed as one who had “condemned an innocent man” (Matthew 27:4), nothing more. In reality, he had betrayed the “Son of God!”

Most of our Regret is caused by having false expectations of life. No doubt, Mickey Mantle had very high expectations, and to some degree, achieved most of them. But in his interview with Bob Costas, Mickey lamented how great an athlete he could have been, with a longer and more storied career in Major League Baseball, if he had just been wiser with his partying and the opportunities he wasted. Truth be told, no amount of additional success would have filled that “cross-shaped-hole” in Mickey’s heart and life. As God’s image bearers – we humans were not made just to enjoy life and succeed in our human endeavors – we were made to “glorify God by enjoying Him forever,” as the Westminster Confession of Faith proclaims. Because of the “Fall” of Adam and Eve, the whole human race has been plunged into sin and despair.  And try as we may to fill the void in our lives created by the “absence of God’s presence,”  none of the remedies we use gives us any lasting peace, contentment or joy. That was the sadness I heard in Mickey’s words as he looked back to what he thought were his best days. False memories of the past are always better than the past actually was. Even in our fallen state, we all realize that we were made for something much grander than any of the fleeting diversions we use to give us purpose, meaning and temporary pleasure.

For some, just having “a plate and a mate” is enough. Others long for “wealth, possessions and power” they believe will satisfy their inner cravings.  And for some, they seek “the fame and adoration of others,” thinking if they can just obtain that one thing – then they’ll be happy.  Jesus said it best when He told the throng following Him – and who had eaten the fish and the loaves of bread: 

“Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst” (John 6:35).

Sadly, most of humanity is looking for love and acceptance in “All the Wrong Places!”

So, let me answer my questions above: “How do we as Christians deal with Regret?” And: “Does not the Spirit bring us to the point where we receive forgiveness for the past, and no longer dwell or obsess over our failures?” I’ll give the answer to the second question first: “Yes, the Spirit does bring us to accept forgiveness for our past failures and Regrets.” As believers, we are forgiven and restored. But sometimes we are reluctant to “accept” God’s forgiveness for our past trespasses.  This failure to “accept” is in direct contradiction to “faithfully believing and receiving,” so we need to be careful. Like the Tax Collector who was humbled and penitent as he left God’s presence (Luke 18:13), believers who won’t receive forgiveness may be inclined to a “false humility” in which they continue to moan and beat their breast over past sins and Regret. There is a place for examining our hearts, motives and behaviors. To doubt yourself is okay from a Biblical perspective – But to Doubt Christ’s Ability to Save, is not humility – It’s Arrogance! Jesus is fully capable of forgiving and restoring those who come to Him in humble faith.

There is a definite difference between “Biblical Regret,” and “Worldly Regret.” As mentioned above, with the examples of Peter and Judas, Peter suffered a “Godly Sorrow and Regret” that led him to Repent and be Restored to God’s favor. On the other hand, Judas’ “Worldly Sorrow and Regret” (much like Mickey’s lament), didn’t end well. And that is the real problem. Mickey Mantle – like many of us – yearned for “the days he thought would never end:”  Days of his Success, Fame and Pleasure. The lesson here is simple:  If we chase “worldly riches,” disappointment is guaranteed. Let me close with an interesting passage from the Book of Revelation, Chapter 21:

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away’ ” (Revelation 21:3-4).

In this passage God reveals His final plan – that He Himself will dwell again with Redeemed Men and Women – His Church!  And He will “wipe away every tear from their eyes.” I don’t believe those will be tears of “Regret for missed opportunities to enjoy fame, fortune or pleasure.” No, His very presence as the Lord of Life will wipe away the pain of sin and death – which shall be no more. We won’t be mourning or crying over “Those Were The Days,” that is, the joys and splendor of this life – for these “former things will have passed away.” Our tears will be tears of triumph over death, mourning, crying and pain – the very outcomes that life without God’s presence has given us all in abundance. The reason that these “former things will have passed away” is because Jesus triumphed over them through His Death and Resurrection! We’ll never again look back to those days, but rather to a glorious future with Jesus. Our cry now should not be “Those Were The Days,” but rather: “Even so, Come Lord Jesus!”

Soli Deo Gloria!